Training
by Amazon Penny
Summary: [Zabby] All NCIS staff have been ordered to take self defense classes. Ziva is mildly amused at the suggestion, but happy to spend more time with Abby and get paid for it! But will this week of training be as boring as it seems? With NCIS? of course not!
1. Chapter 1: Training

**Rating:** T  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own NCIS… as the other slashers say, if I did, the show would be on at a later time slot wink  
**Author's note:** Not new to writing, but new to writing NCIS fic. This is my first time, and I'm hoping I've managed to capture the essence. If people like the story, please let me know, as I'd love to continue writing it. Keen to know if people enjoyed it – so feel free to express opinions! Just put something about an NCIS fic in the subject, so my junk filter doesn't catch it!!

Thanks so much for the feedback - it's very inspiring. I've added some more, and spaced the story out so it's easier to read! Thanks!

Cheers, Amazon Pen.

**

* * *

Training **

Ziva David's head fell back as she burst into laughter. Tony DiNozzo looked up, breaking the solid concentration that had until now been devoted to the double glazed doughnut that resided in and around the special agent's mouth.

"D'you get a frunny forwuhd?" DiNozzo struggled to speak through the barrier of doughnut.

"Have you read your e-mails this morning Tony?" Ziva asked, still unable to stop her laughter.

DiNozzo's head cocked to the side as the last remains of his unhealthy breakfast dislodged themselves from the back of his throat.

"That would require my computer to be turned on, Ziva. I thought you were an expert at observing things... guess I was wrong, huh?"

Ziva's laughter died to a chuckle as she looked at her senior field agent.

"I observed the fact that your fly has been open since you arrived this morning."

"At least he _has_ arrived!"

"Boss!" DiNozzo zipped up his fly and hastily jammed the start button of his computer on with a sugar encrusted finger, while Ziva continued to laugh.

"Where is McGee? and what the hell is so funny David?" Gibbs turned to look at his agents.

"She's looking at cat macros Boss, and I have no idea where McGee is."

"Cat whats, Ziva?"

"I was reading my work e-mail Gibbs." Ziva defended herself, shooting a scowl at DiNozzo.

"I think you should both check your e-mails too. The Director has sent something you might like to read." With this, Ziva's attempts to control her laughed failed as she re-read the e-mail.

"What's so funny?" McGee walked past Ziva's outburst on the way to his desk.

"Sorry I'm late Boss, I was down in the lab with Abby. Just going over the Cout file again."

Reading his e-mail, Gibbs said nothing as his expression turned from frustrated to down right pissed off.

"Looks like that's not a good enough excuse anymore Probie." teased DiNozzo.

"Shup up DiNozzo. Read your damn e-mail." Gibbs stood up and made his way towards the stairs.

"No case, Boss?"

DiNozzo was given no reply as Gibbs left the office.

"So what's so funny?" McGee asked.

"An email." DiNozzo said, answering for Ziva who was still in silent hysterics.

"The same one Gibbs told you to read?"

"I assume so..." DiNozzo clicked on the only e-mail in his inbox that wasn't from a heartbroken woman, desperate to take him out to lunch. A smile spread across his face, as he read aloud the email in question.

_"Attention all NCIS Staff and Support Staff: Due to the recent media coverage of NCIS and the security breach last week, we have decided that our employees are at a higher than usual risk of attack. While we have the strongest of faith in our field agents, other staff members are less capable of defending themselves. All NCIS staff (field agents or otherwise) will be required to take martial arts classes, as part of a program that has been implemented to ensure all staff members are able to protect themselves, should a situation occur." _

Ziva interrupted DiNozzo with her laugher, no longer silent.

"Me." she said, trying to speak through her laughter. "They want me to take self defence classes."

DiNozzo grinned at her. "You're not the only one they want to take the classes," and he read the last sentence of the email: "This includes you, Agent Gibbs."

Ping

The sound of the elevator cut McGee off before he could comment, and two jet black pigtails bounded towards Jethro Gibbs' team.

"Hey guys! Did you get the email? How sweet is that? They're paying for me to learn how to kick ass!"

Ziva smiled at Abby's enthusiasm.

"I've always wanted to do some sort of martial art! And we're getting paid! It's gonna be awesome!"

"You have to do it too?" McGee asked the hyperactive goth.

"I'm 'otherwise'!" Abby pulled out a copy of the email, where the word "otherwise" had been highlighted in a bright pink marker. "You guys are the field agents, I am the otherwise. I mean, i take marginal offense to the idea that i'm not capable of protecting myself - but then I remember that it's true, and no more offense-y!"

"I am a field agent and I worked for Moussad. I do not need classes to learn how to pick ass."

"I think you mean kick, Ziva" Abby corrected her. Ziva winked at the goth, suggesting otherwise.

DiNozzo frowned at the exchange between the two, but decided that his next sentence was of more importance. "This is going to be just like Karate Kid!"

"Actually Tony, the website says here that it's Taekwondo we're going to be studying." McGee corrected him, scrolling through the link provided at the end of the email. DiNozzo brushed off McGee's comment and stood up to stretch his legs. He walked over to McGee's desk and picked up the muffin that rested by his coffee mug. With no regard to McGee's protests, he sunk his teeth into the bun, and then spat out his bite.

"This poppyseed, McGee? How many times to I have to tell you I hate poppyseeds!"

McGee shook his head, as DiNozzo threw the remainer of his muffin back at him. Sullen, McGee dropped it into the trash.

"Abbs is right this is gonna be awesome. I'm going to brush up on my Japanese..." DiNozzo said.  
"It's Taekwondo, Tony." McGee corrected

"What's your point Probie?"

McGee shook his head again. Life under a Senior Field Agent was trying sometimes.

"Does Gibbs have to do it too?" Abby asked.

"Nope! Grab your gear." Gibbs made his way down the stairs as he ordered his team out of their chairs.

Ziva clapped her hands together with relief. "Thank you Gibbs! See, I knew you would be able to convince the director that we do not need training. See Tony?"

"What've we got, Boss?" DiNozzo asked, readying himself for the next case. Gibbs threw a set of keys over his shoulder.

"Training."

Ziva's look of relief turned to alarm. "What? But you just said..."

"I said grab your gear, Ziva."

"So You have to lower yourself to this ridiculous 'Martial Arts' training too?" Ziva asked.

"Nope. Just you." Gibbs said, flashing a rare smile. DiNozzo gloated silently as he passed Ziva on his way to the elevator. McGee close behind couldn't surpress his smile either.  
Ziva scowled, and turned to Abby. "I could teach you how to defend youself for free."

They turned towards the elevator, and just before they stepped into hearing range of the boys, Abby whispered into the petite Israeli's ear, "Nothing comes for free, Ziva." She winked.

----------

Inside the DoJang, various members of NCIS were scattered about. While all staff were wearing the same generic "NCIS" training uniform, it was not difficult to tell the field agents from the cleaners, or the forensic scientists. The embarrassed and highly trained field agents hung their heads - no one daring to look another in the eye. When asked to partner up, one particular forensic scientist (pigtails still in tow) leapt over to Ziva.

"Any chance you'll let me throw you around?" Abby threw another wink to the wind.

"Would you please be a little more discreet? You are going to let the bird out of the bag."

Abby smiled, not bothering to correct the cute mistake.

"I wonder if there'll be any hot ladies here!" DiNozzo said, interrupting the private moment as he sauntered in between Ziva and Abby.

"I am here" Ziva said, with her best attempt to make DiNozzo uncomfortable.

"I said Ladies, Zee-vah!"

"What about me, Tony?" Abby curled a pig tail around her index finger.

"What about you?" McGee walked definsively between DiNozzo and Abby.

"She needs a partner, Probie. Would ya?"

Abby blushed as DiNozzo pulled Ziva away. Things had been slightly hinky with McGee ever since they decided to stop seeing each other. McGee had always known that Abby was bisexual, but was still unaware of the very small, very cute, very Israeli reason why Abby had ended their romp.

"Uh.. Partner up?"

Abby nodded. "Sure McGee."


	2. Chapter 2: Back at work

**Rating:** T  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own NCIS… as the other slashers say, if I did, the show would be on at a later time slot wink  
**Author's note:** Not new to writing, but new to writing NCIS fic. This is my first time, and I'm hoping I've managed to capture the essence. If people like the story, please let me know, as I'd love to continue writing it. Keen to know if people enjoyed it – so feel free to express opinions!

Thanks so much for the feedback - it's very inspiring. I've added some more, and spaced the story out so it's easier to read! Thanks!

Cheers, Amazon Pen.

-------------------

**Chapter Two: Back At Work**

After learning some basic punches, kicks and wrist locks (and Ziva being asked to kindly explain what was so funny) the pairs were told to get a drink.

"If you aren't already with someone of your own sex, change now please." The instructor said when all members were back in the room.

Ziva mocked disappointment and threw a swift kick to Tony's butt as he turned around to find a new partner. Tony frowned, as he found himself face to face with one Timothy McGee.

Abby stepped in quickly, taking Ziva's hand in her own and pulling her to the back of the DoJang.

The Instructor demonstrated their next challenge – throws.

-------

Training lasted a few hours, and by the end of it all agents were utterly exhausted. In the bus on the way back to HQ, Abby had just meant to rest her eyes for a moment, but when she opened them she found herself sitting in her own chair inside her lab.

"What the..." She looked around, but she was alone. Wiping the touch of saliva from the corner of her mouth, she stoop up and headed upstairs. As she came out of the elevator, Abby could hear the familiar sounds of Ziva and Tony arguing, as always. Playful arguing, Abby liked to think... Or at least hope.

"You ask him!"

"Ziva, as the senior field agent, I have to pull rank. You know i don't like to do that, but i must insist that YOU ask him."

Ziva snorted. "Oh poor Tony, having to play the senior field agent card. You know I could kill you with this paperclip!" she said, holding a silver paperclip between dainty fingers.

"And I could kill you and leave no forensic evidence Tony." Abby said as she approached the pair.

"Abby!" Ziva smiled, and DiNozzo frowned.

"Now you're killing me too? What did I do to deserve that?" DiNozzo winked, as Abby took a seat behind Gibbs's desk.

"Girls gotta stick together!" Abby replied.

"No offence Abs, but I wouldn't really call Ziva a 'girl'" DiNozzo said smiling.

"Really? Come here Tony." Ziva said, still twirling the paperclip sweetly.

"Only if you ask him" came DiNozzo's reply.

"Ask me what?"

Ziva and DiNozzo jumped, and Abby smiled as she gave up her seat for the man that she loved almost as much as her own father. Gibbs sat down, and turned on his computer.

"If there was something we should be doing, boss? I mean, no cases... not much going on..." DiNozzo asked boldly.

"You bored, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked, taking a swig of his coffee.

"Yes!"

Gibbs looked up at DiNozzo, eyes narrowed.

"No..."

Ziva smiled. "Anything we can work on, Gibbs?"

Gibbs took another mouthful of coffee, and clicked something on his desktop before answering. "McGee was going to work on the Cout case with Abby. He should be down in her lab now." He said, sending a pointed glance over to the woman he loved like a daughter.

"And that would be me..." Abby said, sending a whispered wink to Ziva as she made her way back to the elevator.

"You two waiting for something?" Gibbs asked, looking at the duo who couldn't look more bored if they tried.

"No boss." DiNozzo said, clearly frustrated. In the elevator, he vented to Ziva. "Why are we going over a case that was solved last week?"

"Aparently there was a challenge to the evidence Abby found. She's re-examining some hair found under the couch." Ziva explained.

"I found that hair. It was perfect, blood spattered hair. What could be wrong with it?"

Ziva laughed. "I have no idea, but if the Senior Field Agent says the hair is fine, what could a Judge care about, right Tony?"

DiNozzo scowled at her.

They entered Abby's lab and were greeted by her usual music.

"Hey guys – What are you doing here?" Abby asked, looking up from her work.

"Gibbs sent us down to help out, apparently" DiNozzo said.

"Right, well, sorry to be a killjoy, but I've finished re-examining everything. We're all done here."

"Good job Abs." Gibbs walked into the lab with a Caf Pow, and exchanged the drink for the evidence that Abby had re-sealed. "I'm taking this off to the Judge now – the faster we clear this up the better." Gibbs turned to leave, failing to stop as McGee called after him.

"What do we do now Boss?"

With no answer from Gibbs, the four in the lab faced one another, and grins slowly appeared on their faces. They had nothing to do. No cases to solve, no paperwork to file, no Gibbs to answer to… they were free.

"What should we do first??" DiNozzo asked, rubbing his hands together.

Abby's arm shot into the air.

"Abby!" grinned DiNozzo.

Abby flicked her head, motioning for the others to gather round the plasma. A few moments later, two photos appeared on the screen. Palmer and Agent Lee. Within seconds, the photos began to slowly merge into one photo, displayed in the middle of the screen.

DiNozzo laughed. "Fantastic!"

"I've got one!!" Ziva raced around to Abby, and leant forward to whisper in her ear.

"Nice, Ziva!" Abby nodded approvingly, and made some more clicks.

Palmer and Ducky. The resulting child was rather cute.

"Oh god Ziva" McGee scowled, and looked away.

Ziva laughed, and went to suggest another combination.

"My turn!" said McGee, pushing Abby out of the way of the keyboard. Another two photo's appeared on screen. Ziva and Abby.

Ziva frowned. "That is not funny Mcgee."

"It's hilarious Ziva. Merge 'em!" DiNozzo demanded.

Abby's cheeks had turned a brilliant tomato soup red, as she suddenly noticed a spot of dust on her mass spec. Annoyed, Ziva approached McGee slowly.

"Do not merge those photos McGee." She said, calmly resting a hand on his arm.

McGee looked into Ziva's brown eyes. "C'mon, don't you think it'd be kinda funny?"

Ziva shook her head. "I will only warn you once. Merge those photos, and your duck is cooked."

"Goose." DiNozzo stated.

"I am not a goose. I just don't find it funny" Ziva defended herself.

"Senior Field Agent." DiNozzo said, pointing to himself. "Merge."

McGee hit the merge button, and before their eyes, formed a stunning little girl, who happened to have a spider web tattoo on her neck.

"Excellent" Abby said, grinning.

Ziva spun around, shocked. "Abby!"

"What? I mean if we were going to have a baby, I'd like to think she'd have some sweet tatts!"

"See? Nothing bad happened!" McGee said, smiling smugly at Ziva.

"Nothing bad happened to me…" Ziva said, tightening her grip on McGee's arm. In one fluid motion, she flipped McGee over onto his back, and he hit the floor hard.

"Officer David!" The shrill and authoritarian voice spilled into the lab room with shock.

"Director!" Ziva stood up straight.

"NCIS did not demand you all take martial arts classes so you could flip special agents around in lab rooms, which hold millions of dollars worth of highly valuable equipment!" The director scolded.

"As opposed to millions of dollars worth of worthless equipment?" DiNozzo asked quietly.

"Special Agent DiNozzo, as the Senior Field Agent you should know better." She said, disapprovingly.

"Sorry ma'am." He smirked.

The Director shook her head. "Are you going to help him up, Ziva?" she asked.

"No." Ziva said plainly.

"I'm fine." McGee said, groaning slightly as he pulled himself off the floor.

"Special Agent Mcgee, NCIS did not demand you take martial arts classes in order for you to allow yourself to be thrown to the ground." The Director said, smiling.

Confused, McGee nodded. "Of course. Sorry. Won't happen again."

DiNozzo leaned in to McGee. "Don't apologise Probie…"

McGee glared at DiNozzo. "Thanks."

"Now would someone care to tell me what three of my best are doing down in this lab?"

"We were working on the Cout Case" DiNozzo explained with a hint of charm.

"The one Gibbs took with him when he left twenty minutes ago?" she asked.

"Ah. Yes. That one." DiNozzo said sheepishly.

"If you have nothing to do, Agent DiNozzo, I suggest attempting to keep your activities low key..." The Director walked over to the camera that linked Abby's lab with Ducky's autopsy lab. "Or at least turning off your camera link." She said as she switched it off. "Ducky told me to tell you that he appreciates that glance into the future."

Abby blushed.

"I'm going back to work – I suggest you all do the same." The Director said.

DiNozzo waited until he heard the elevator doors shut to make sure the Director was safely on her way back to her office before he spoke again. "We need another idea." He said.

Abby slurped the last remains of the Caf Pow that Gibbs had left with her. "Damn. Out again" she sighed.

"Again? Abby how many of those have you had today?" Ziva asked her.

"Oh, three? No wait, this was the forth. I had to come in early to do some analysis, and then the re-examination for that other case… so yeah. Four."

"So what actually did you find in the end?" DiNozzo asked. "Did Rogers do it?"

"Affirmitive" Abby nodded. "Petty Officer Rogers blood was definitely on that hair. No amount of contesting can disprove it. Plus, that and the Axe that was burried in his yard – like we really needed the hair samples to prove it." She finished.

"Four Caf Pow's?" McGee asked, intreagued.

"Yes McGee, Four. You have a problem with that?" Abby asked.

"No… I was just thinking… if you can do four.. how many more could you do?"

DiNozzo snapped his fingers. "Yes! I like it Probie! New game! Ziva! Go to the machine, get another two Caf Pow's!"

"What?" Ziva asked, slightly lost.

"We're going to see how many Caf Pow's Abby can drink! It'll be fun! Now Go! Go!"

"Wait!!" Abby stopped Ziva.

"You don't want to do it?" Ziva asked, mildy disappointed. She had often been interested in just how hyperactive Miss Sciuto could actually get.

"Me turn down a Caf Pow or ten? I think not!! I was just gonna say only get one… otherwise the second one will melt. We can do it one at a time!" You guys can race to get them, so we can time how fast it takes you to bring me one!" she grinned.

"Niiiiice!" DiNozzo growled. "Upping the competition!" He said, rubbing his hands together.

McGee looked at his watch. "aaand…. GO Ziva!"

Ziva raced out of the lab doors, and made her way towards the Caf Pow machine. This was going to be awesome.

-------


	3. Chapter 3: HOW many CafPow's?

AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks so much to everyone who has subscribed for updates. It's still inspiring. SO MANY apologies for the insane delay in this chapter, my muses have been beating me over the head with candlesticks... but they have decided to be nice to me again - which means I get to be nice to all of you! hoorah

Please review if you like the story - I like to know if I've done a good job! Peace!! xoxox

(ps - there is a **Xena: Warrior Princess** reference in here somewhere... I will give virtual Black Roses and Caf-Pow's to all who can pick it up. hee!) :)

* * *

When Ziva raced back into the room, she found DiNozzo hitting Abby's lab desk.

"Tony, what did the desk ever do to you?" Ziva grinned, as she passed Abby the first Caf-Pow of the competition, her fifth for the day.

DiNozzo dived for his watch, glancing at the second. "That was your best time?? You took like a minute! and uh, I was showing Abs and McGee here my 'rhythm' "

McGee snorted.

"What, Probie?"

"Nothing." McGee grinned

"I believe he found your use of the word amusing, no?" Ziva looked at McGee intently.

McGee frowned. "You took a minute, Ziva. You raced out of this room - why did you take so long?"

Ziva flashed a wink as she explained. "I have to give myself room for improvement... and you boys will need to at least believe you can beat me!"

DiNozzo scoffed. "ABBY!"

"Yomhp?" Abby attempted to answer, as the red goodness slid down her throat.

"You done yet?" DiNozzo began rolling up his sleeves. "It's about time I show this little Israeli what I've got in me!"

"Please, do not." Ziva said.

Abby continued to slurp the drink, her toes tapping.

"Look at her! She's jittery already." McGee watched with amazement as Abby's hug rubber shoes moved up and down on the floor of the lab.

"DONE!" Abby pumped a fist in the air, as she shook the empty Caf-Pow cup. Aiming intently, she graciously threw the cup towards the bin.  
Unfortunately, she missed by about two metres.

"I never said I could aim." She said sheepishly.

"We never would have believed you." DiNozzo grinned. "Okay - I'm off, Probie, Time me! Three... Two..."

DiNozzo shot out of the room before he finished his countdown. Italian leather squeaked as DiNozzo made his way frantically to the vending machine that supplied the gothic scientist with an endless supply of caffeine. His run was successful, beating Ziva by twenty seconds. He basked in his victory upon his return.

"Eat... that... Moss.. Mossad agent!" he said, handing Abby her sixth Caf-Pow before grabbing hold of Abby's desk, relying on it to hold him up.

Ziva rolled her eyes. "Tony you are huffing and puffing, your shirt is unbuttoned and you can hardly stand up properly." she pointed out.

"And..." DiNozzo began "You should not forget the tiny dots that I can see." He reached out and swiped at nothing in the air.

Ziva chuckled as she walked over to Abby. "How are you doing?"

"MAN I AM SO GREAT!" Abby said, leaping over to Ziva, arms wide open. As much as she wanted to be encased in those arms, Ziva stepped back. It would not be the best idea to give anything away to either of these boys.  
"I need another Caf-Pow. Well I mean I don't need one but i sure want another one, i think we should go for a record, should we go for a record? whaddya think boys? ziva? how about a record? what is this, six? I swear we can go for more! let's go! TIM go get me a drink! Someone time him! I need to pee!"

And with that, Abby disappeared through the doors.

McGee returned with a Caf-Pow in one minute and twelve seconds. He sheepishly handed it to Abby, who took it with a ceremonious bow, and a courtsey, at the same time. She then spat on her hand, and shook hands with McGee.

"Qa Tlho". Abby said, moving her wet hand up to McGee's hair. McGee's attempts to dodge her failed, as the woman with caffeine reflexes followed his dodge, and scruffed up his hair with a giant grin on her face.

McGee frowned again. "Qay'be" was his only response, albeit with a sulky face.

"Please explain which language you are conversing in. It is unfamiliar to me." Ziva said, looking at Abby. "I was unaware you spoke another language, Abby."

Abby looked at her and signed three letters energetically "D U H"

"technically, that's not speaking." DiNozzo said.

Abby signed another three letters. "A S S" and grinned at Tony.

"She thanked me in Klingon" McGee explained.

"Oh dear god" DiNozzo said.

"Umm, excuse me, are we all forgetting our little game here?" Abby asked, jumping up and down on the spot.

"I suggest you begin timing me, Tony. Make sure you pay attention this time, as I am about to show you how a 'junior field agent' does it now" Ziva said, a seductive look on her face.

"Rawr!" Abby growled, excited by the look.

"Was that Klingon?" DiNozzo asked, looking at McGee.

"That was a growl" McGee replied.

"That get you excited, Abby?" DiNozzo asked, referring to Ziva's seductive poses.

"Are you kidding? Frak yeah it does!" Abby nodded, her tongue practically hitting the floor.

"Really?" DiNozzo asked, fascinated.

Ziva blushed. "Come on Tony - a dust hampster would get her excited right now!"

"That is also true" DiNozzo said, nodding. "And excuse me, enough of the Klingon, please."

McGee shook his head. "Frak isn't Klingon. Although while it is technically an intergalactic word from a scifi television program, it's not Klingon. It's uh.. well, I'm not sure if they have a name for the language... Caprican? hmm.. anyway, it's from Battlestar Galactica. And Ziva the term is Dust Bunny."

DiNozzo shook his head, bringing his fingers up to his temples and rubbing them slowly. "You are giving me a headache McGeek. Ziva, are you ready? yesokGO!" DiNozzo hit the timer on his watch.

Surprised, Ziva pulled herself into action and burst out the lab doors, calling over her shoulder as she left. "YOU ARE A CHEATER TONY DINOZZO!"

--  
Sixteen Caf-Pow's later, Ziva had beat the boys time by a considerable amount, holding the record at 31 seconds - a time which no one could beat. Abby had turned her music back on and was dancing on top her desk in her office. DiNozzo was watching in sheer disbelief, as the sexy Goth began to slowly remove her lab coat. It wasn't until Abby began to remove her shirt, that Ziva and McGee leapt into action.

"Um, Abby, Maybe keep your shirt on?" McGee called over the loud music.

"Why McGee? Come on? Get up here with me!" Abby replied, dirty dancing with her computer.

"Abby. Get down." Ziva called her instructions loudly and clearly.

"Oh Hey baby! You should get up here too! and take off that sweater!"

DiNozzo raised an eyebrow at Ziva, who scowled. "Oh please. she is crazy! Look at her, she is coming on to her computer!"

DiNozzo shook his head. "That is not something I don't see everyday. Calling Ziva David "baby"? That's unnusual!"

Ziva stormed over to the CD played and switched it off. Ignoring Abby's moans, she reached up and took hold of her arm in a very particular way. McGee and DiNozzo saw it coming before Abby had the faintest idea.

"Uh oh.." McGee winced, unable to bring himself to look away.

Ziva used an arm bar to haul Abby off her desk and over her shoulder. "Whoooo! Later Boys!" Abby called, winking to McGee.

Confused, McGee looked oddly at Ziva who happened to be shaded a faint tinge of rose.

"Is it just me, or have there been a few too many clues?" DiNozzo whispered to McGee.

"I'm hoping it's just you." McGee answered. "and I'm also kinda hoping it's not" he finished, a slight grin appearing.

"Wanna find out?" asked DiNozzo, becoming excited.

Nodding, McGee followed DiNozzo as they entered the Lab again. Abby was attempting to conduct her Mass Spec and other instruments. "You!" Abby screeched, pointing at the Mass Spec. "You're a tennor, Get away from the Soppranos!"

"Abby!" DiNozzo called loudly.

"Yah!" Abby spun around, almost tripping on the way.

"New Game! You need to sit down for it."

"Ooooh Goody!" Abby rubbed her hands together and took a seat.

Ziva smiled gratefully at DiNozzo. "Thank you Tony. I couldn't manage to get her to sit down."

"That is why I am the..." DiNozzo cut himself off, gesturing for Ziva to finish his sentence.

"Senior pain in my ass?"

DiNozzo smiled. "Exactly!" and then he clicked to what she had just said. "Hey!"

Ziva giggled, and Abby joined her soon after.

"Why are we laughing" Abby asked, edging into hysterics.

"Because Tony is an ass!" Ziva replied.

"We should laugh about that all the time!" Abby giggled.

"Hey hey hey! Do you guys want to play our new game, or what?" DiNozzo asked, frustrated.

"What game?" Ziva asked, suspicious.

"Truth or Dare" McGee replied.

"No" Ziva answered instantly.

"YES!" Abby answered instantly.

"Excellent". DiNozzo said. "Oh but there's one tiny rule, the dare part doesn't exist. Probie... our first question is...?"

"Abby." McGee stated.

"Tim." Abby replied.

"Do you have a crush on someone in this room?"

Ziva snorted. "This is a game for children. We should be doing work."

DiNozzo looked at Ziva. "Oh, that is an excellent suggestion... and as the Queen of the Whiteboard over there -" DiNozzo pointed to Abby's brainstorming white board which had recorded the times for each run to the Caf-Pow machine "- you should certainly know a lot about work" he cooed dangerously. Ziva scowled, but kept quiet.

"No." was Abby's response.

The hurt on Ziva's face was apparent instantly.

DiNozzo nodded, and leaned over to whisper in McGee's ear. "They wanna play hard, they can be my guest - interregation is what we do best!"

"Ziva."

"What?" The change in Ziva's demeanor was not hidden.

"Are you dating someone at the moment?" DiNozzo asked.

"Why, you interested?" She asked coldly. She knew their game instantly.

DiNozzo laughed. "What if I was?" he asked.

"I am not your type" she replied.

"Or maybe, it's because I'm not your type." he grinned smugly.

Ziva snorted. "You are such an ass."

DiNozzo moved his hands to his chest, miming that his feelings were hurt. "You don't mean that."

Ziva copied the hand movements she had seen Abby do earlier. "A S S" She spelt out.

Abby laughed. Ziva shot her a cold look.

Hurt and confused (and incredibly high on caffeine) Abby decided she had had enough fun for the day. Ziva's dirty look had confused her, and she was getting the shakes.

"You guys I don't feel so good."

"Maybe you should go ho-" Ziva stopped her sentance mid way as Abby slumped to the ground.

"Probie get Ducky!" DiNozzo said, as he pushed the chairs away from where Abby was lying.

"ABBY!" Ziva yelled as she patted Abby's face, which was paler than the makeup she usually wore. "Her face is clammy."

"How many Caf-Pow's did she have?" DiNozzo asked.

"I don't know. Um, a lot. a ridiculous amount. Oh my god. We need to call an ambulance... ABBY!" tears formed in Ziva's eyes as the pale goth lay motionless on the floor.

McGee returned with Ducky following him, both kneeling to Abby's side.

"McGee how many drinks did she have?" DiNozzo asked.

"Sixteen." McGee said, his head low.

"SIXTEEN CAF-POW'S?!" Ducky asked, amazed. His amazement turned to anger as he saw the three agents nod. "Have you called an ambulance?"

"Yes" Ziva's response was hushed.

"I never expected you could act like such delinquants" Ducky spat, as he held Abby's face in his hands. "Do any of you know how much caffeine is in just one of those?"

"Gibbs brings her like, three a day" DiNozzo defended.

"THREE IS A LITTLE DIFFERENT TO SIXTEEN, ANTHONY DINOZZO, OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY THAT DAY TO LEARN HOW TO COUNT PAST TEN?!" Ducky was furious.

The three agents hung their heads in shame and fear, as the ambulance drove Abby back to the hospital.

"We are in a creek of shit." Ziva said to the others as they sat in the waiting room.

"You got that one damn right".

They looked up to see Gibbs, standing next to the Director.

"What the hell happened?" he asked them.

Ziva opened her mouth to explain, but not a single word escaped it before Gibbs cut her off. "Save it. I know what the hell happened. I don't want to hear it again." he said, before walking off.

"They haven't let us see her yet" Ziva said to Jenny.

"We're allowed to go in now" the Director replied.

"I must apologise. I had no idea... I -" Ziva's eyes welled with tears as she attempted to finish her sentence.

"I know, Ziva. It's alright. I mean, it's not alright and you will all be talked to when we get back - Abby included - about the importance of paperwork. You think we do it to ensure our filing is up to date? we make you do it so you don't get up to anything like this!" Jenny smiled, attempting to cheer Ziva up.

"It won't happen again" Ziva assured her boss.

"Damn right it won't." Gibbs said, as he walked past her and into Abby's room.

Ziva and Jenny followed Gibbs in, and found McGee and DiNozzo already by her side.

Gibbs leaned in. "Hey Abs."

"Gibbs." Abby said, groggy. "Gibbs, where is Ziva?"

"I'm here baby." Ziva said, rushing forwards.

Four sets of eyes darted between one another, as Abby and Ziva's remained locked on each others.

"Baby?" DiNozzo mimed to McGee, his eyes wide.

McGee shrugged his shoulders, and looked at Gibbs and Jenny who were just as clueless.

"Are you alright?" Ziva asked Abby.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I just felt funny, and then it was like, woah, and then I was here."

Ziva took Abby's hand into hers, and kissed it softly. As her lips touched Abby's skin, she realised that she was being watched. She turned around, and looked at The Director apologetically.

"I-"

Jenny cut her off. "We didn't see anything - did we?"

Gibbs shook his head. "Nothing that I would consider important enough to go in the report..." he said, winking at Abby.

"Uh oh. There's gonna be a report?" she asked.

DiNozzo cringed. "Afraid so. apparently there were better things we could have been doing with our time..."

Gibbs raised his hand up and gave DiNozzo a quick headslap. DiNozzo winced, and rubbed the back of his head. "Thank you Boss." he said.

"May I remind you all that there's only so much that I can 'not see' in a day..." the Director said, looking pointedly at Gibbs.

Gibbs reached up and (lightly) smacked the Director on the back of the head. "And that was my quota for today. If you will forgive me, Abby, I hope you feel better, but I am going to leave now, before I see or feel -" she looked pointedly at Gibbs "- anything else today."

"Thanks for coming Jen." Abby said, smiling.

"I'm going to head off too" McGee said, nudging DiNozzo. "It's getting late, and Abs you will probably want to sleep some, get your energy back?"

DiNozzo surprisingly enough took the hint, and followed McGee out of the doors. "See you back at work soon hey, Coyote?" he winked at Abby.

Abby's face was blank for a moment. "Coyote?" and then it dawned on her. "Oh my god..."

Gibbs stood up, placing his hands over his ears. "I do not want to hear anything else." he gave Abby's free hand a quick squeeze before leaving the room.

Abby leaned in to Ziva. "Are we alone?"

Ziva smiled and nodded. "We are alone."

"I wanted to say something to you" Abby said.

"I have many ears" Ziva replied.

"You're all ears." Abby corrected.

"That is what you wanted to say to me?" Ziva asked, confused.

"No... I - ugh nevermind. no. I wanted to say that back in my lab, when I said that I didn't have a crush on anyone in the room... i saw how hurt you got." Abby began.

"Oh. yes. It's okay. I understand you were saying it to try and protect our relationship from our collegues." Ziva nodded.

"Actually, I wasn't." Abby said.

"Oh?"

Abby shook her head. "No. I wasn't lying. I don't have a crush on you, Ziva."

Ziva was silent, as she looked at Abby, praying that her sentence was incomplete.

"I am in love with you."

Ziva burst into tears. "I am in love with you too, Abby." she said, burying her face into Abby's arms.

Abby searched for Ziva's face, cupping her hands over both cheeks. She lifted Ziva's head, moving it closer to hers. With a deep breath, she pulled Ziva in for a deep and passionate kiss.

When the pair broke apart it seemed like a lifetime ago that they began the kiss.

"You are so beautiful" Abby said, staring into the golden eternity of Ziva's eyes.

Ziva blushed, and kissed Abby gently on the nose, "I dare you to prove it." She whispered.


End file.
